Dementia Violence
Episode 38
Show Notes
This week’s episode.
I’ve named dementia violates because I was poking around iTunes and our ran on to several caregiving podcasts dementia, podcasts, and so forth. And one of them had some nurse or something on there that was talking about patients who have dementia, Alzheimer’s getting violent. And I wanted to put my feelings out there as far as the subject.
Now while it may be true that patients with dementia have a violent street now and then that is not always the case. This person was saying get rid of all the guns in the house lock up all knives in the house and that kind of thing. Now I’m not saying that that does not always happen. But what I in good tell you is the fact that in our case, Mama who has had dementia for or about 4 years now. I believe, although there are violent outbursts. There are no worries about the knives that are in the kitchen and yes we do have steak knives. We do have meat carving knives and so forth. Unfortunately, there are no guns in the house so I don’t have to worry about the guns. But even if there were Mama sleeps too much to be worried about these kinds of things.
And I when you 1st start in on this caregiving journey you’re told. Watch out for these kinds of violent outbursts. Yes, we were told to lock up all knives and that kind of thing. And folks, that’s been 4 years ago and went to the point now where all Mama does is sleep, eat and go to the bathroom, and what little bit of violent outburst we do deal with has nothing whatsoever to do with knives or guns. It certainly is not to the point where we are worried about life-threatening situations.
Of course, violence comes in several different forms. These forms range from anything from screaming and yelling pitching and hitting pulling hair that kind of thing to what I understand to be life-threatening situations. None of us have ever really felt like we were in a life-and-death situation. Although these life-threatening situations may exist in some patients. They do not exist in all patients.
I also heard this person say that if you had children in the home with a dementia violent person, social services could and would come and take the children out of the home. Look, no one is going to come and check to see whether or not the dementia person is violent! It doesn’t happen. The counties don’t have enough employees enough time or even the budget to go around to every home in the county where there is a dementia person. I don’t understand why you get people that go to school for this kind of stuff they have all these book smarts, but they’re absolute idiots when it comes to actually dealing with the dementia person.
You may have neighbors that call the police or call the county, but once they find out that the person has dementia, but they were called about unless you are physically in danger or feel that you are physically life threatened there’s not a whole lot. They’ll do. I’ve had this happen. This past summer mom was at yard yelling and screaming he’s going to kill me. He’s going to do this easily do that and yes, there were some neighbors at the yard and several houses up. Of course, and they called the law. I’ve seen the officer show up at their house a talk to whoever was in the house and then the officer come down toward my house, he got about halfway between his car and my house and it would miss a come on down. I said it sorry I said she just got mamas just got dementia and when I said that the officer was like oh, okay, is everything okay with it yes, she’s just haven’t little outburst we were fit were fine. No one was bleeding profusely. So the officer said. If you need help, you can call this number. This officer was very nice, very pleasant very professional, but he was also very helpful to me, it gives us all I don’t know several numbers. I think about 3 to 4 numbers to where we could get help if we needed it. If we needed it is a very big if.
I think a lot of times people get to where they don’t want to take care of their parents. They don’t want to be tied down. They don’t want to have the responsibility of yeah, I’ll say it raising their parents again. I say that because the worst dementia gets the more like a child, they become. And I think a lot of people just don’t want to be bothered about don’t get me wrong, I realize people have to work. There’s nowhere around it, but there’s a lot of people in the families that don’t work, there’s a lot of people that could take care of their parents that don’t. Now I don’t know about you all, I really don’t know what your situations are but I’ll tell you I feel that God has given me COPD for reason! And that reason being, the fact that God knew that Mama was going to have dementia. And God knew that I was not going to put her in a nursing home. So God gives me this COPD to where I could take care of my mother. After all, it’s only right that I take care Mama now that Mama needs taking care of.
You ask what about the immediate family well. Although they have things that they’re doing they know how I feel they know that I’m not willing to put mom in a nursing home and so they help out as much as they can for the most part. They don’t always want to do what where when I tell him, but they do help out as much as they can, where they can as often as they can. And no, no one has said anything about locking up knives getting rid of the guns or any of the sort. No one is feeling in a life or death situation at any time, and were so far into it now that there’s not a whole lot that Mama can do even when she does get mad, she gets too tired too quickly.
So to wrap all this up for this episode, I’m going to say. Let’s not take things to the extreme. If you feel like you’re in a life or death situation, then by all means lock up your knives get rid of the guns in the house. But at the same time you some common sense. Don’t let somebody scare you to death and get you to believe that you’re in a life-and-death situation when you’re not. Just because you’re living with someone who has dementia and just because they have violent outburst at times does not always make them so dangerous that you’re in a life-and-death situation. Let’s not make something out of nothing. A lot of times, all you need to do is tell them you love them tell that person who has dementia that you love them, tell them a lot and that seems to calm the situation down considerably. Walk away from him, leave them by themselves for just a little bit that don’t walk to where if they fall they’re going to hurt themselves and you don’t know what but you don’t necessarily have to be in the same room with them. You don’t have to be where they can see you that, situation down as well do things to calm the situation don’t do things to keep the situation up. Don’t argue with the person. If you don’t care if there’s nobody to argue with. They don’t argue. Therefore, it calms situation down. Let’s not carry things to the extreme! Everything seems to be get carried to the extreme. Let’s not carry things to the extreme not always necessary. It’s not always something that needed. But what is needed is for that one who has dementia to feel safe to fail unafraid and can be offered when they need it.
